ONLINE DATING AND THE FEAR OF ‘RULING PEOPLE OUT’

One of the main challenges that occurs when trying to find love online is knowing when it’s right to proceed or cut something short! If you’re spending enough time using dating sites and apps, you’re likely to notice a pattern to the convos that don’t work out or give you that icky feeling!

We see people all the time trying to analyse their dating conversations and what they’ve learnt about it. For example, some people may notice they have negative experiences of engaging with people that have limited information on their profiles, but then they fear that if they rule ALL them people out some people may slip through their fingers!

So, what should you do?

Some rules may work in dating situations, but some don’t. People may wait for a relationship to blossom and wait 3 months to get intimate with their dating partner and then go on to have a relationship, but some people may wait that long and no relationship occurs! It’s not the waiting three months that
determines the success of the relationship – so don’t rely on arbitrary dating rules that are really about avoiding vulnerability.

We must realise what we’re learning and follow through!

Is it really worth the effort of trying to prove that the data you’re gathering is completely wrong? Take the example of no success of chatting to people with little or no information on their profile. We gave to let that go and try not to analyse it, because if we don’t, we will lose sight of our intentions and the relationship that we say we want to be in. However, we must not assume that because someone puts a lot of information in their profile, or certainly more
than the people we are ruling out, that they’re a “good” potential partner.

It’s your job to be discerning and operate from our standards, if we keep second-guessing ourselves over a stranger, there is no place for this! When dating is concerned, you need to start as you mean to go on! A recruiter wouldn’t keep talking to job applicants where they seemed to fulfil a typical pattern, let’s be honest they wouldn’t! If we’re fairly clear on who we are and the type of relationship we’re looking for, we don’t need to lose our mind over whether we were “too hasty” with some randomer who sent us an
unsolicited sext or where it was super awkward/creepy in the chat – be real! Not everyone can be ‘The One’, when we’re willing to be discerning, we stop settling for crumbs.


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